Horoscopes Are A Drag™
Honey, "Horoscopes Are A Drag" on QVegas is your go-to for that sparkle of cosmic tea, served hot and fabulous, straight from the stars with a glittering twist. Each week, we're spilling the celestial secrets for every zodiac sign, so you can strut your stuff with the stars aligning just right. It's astrology with sass, glam, and a dash of drag magic, making your cosmic journey as dazzling as a drag queen's wardrobe. For your weekly dose of star-studded advice, click your heels and head over every week, darling!
aries
Honey, buckle up ‘cause July is heating up for all my fierce Aries queens out there! The stars are aligning to serve you some serious cosmic energy. You better werk, because this month is all about strutting your stuff, making bold moves, and letting the world know who's boss. Love is in the air, so flutter those lashes, and don’t be afraid to show your heart. And remember, darling, when life throws shade, you throw glitter! Sashay your way through July, and let your fabulous self shine! 💅✨
taurus
Oh, honey, let me tell you all about Taurus for July 2024, because it is going to be a fabulous month, darling! The stars are aligning to serve you the drama, the glamour, and a lil' bit of romance, too. It's all about stepping into your power, owning your fabulousness, and slaying every aspect of your life. You better werk and embrace every opportunity, 'cause the universe is about to throw some sparkly blessings your way. Cheers to you, you fierce bull! Remember, keep it sassy, classy, and a tad bit bad-assy! 💋✨
gemini
Honey, it's YOUR month, Gemini! The stars are practically throwing glitter in your favor, okay? First up, you've got Venus sashaying into your sign early on, making you absolutely ~irresistible~ to anyone with a pulse, darling. Work! Then, as if the universe is your own personal glam squad, Mercury goes direct, so your communications are like, "Yes, queen!" Think sharp, think witty, think everything coming out of your mouth is pure gold. But, and it's a big but, watch that spending, boo. You're feeling generous, but you can't be buying the whole bar a round, okay? Time to strut into July like the cosmic superstar you are. Sparkle on, Gemini. Sparkle on.
cancer
Oh, honey, let me spill the cosmic tea for all you Cancer darlings for July 2024! The universe is serving up a big ol’ slice of fabulous opportunity, with a sprinkle of drama, of course! This is your moment to strut your stuff and let the world see your full diva glory. Relationships? They're like a glittery roller disco - bumpy but oh-so-sparkly. Ca$h flow is giving what it should, but beware of those shady financial drag-rats trying to snatch your wigs, I mean, your coins, darling. Embrace your inner queen, because this month is all about you! Now, sashay away into your fabulous future! 💅✨
leo
Honey, gather round 'cause Mama's about to serve you the celestial tea for all my fierce Leo divas out there. July 2024 is your moment to shine, baby! The stars are lining up to give you life, so strut into that spotlight where you belong. It's all about embracing your royal queendom, flaunting your fabulousness, and not letting anyone dull your sparkle. Expect drama, but the kind you thrive on—where you end up on top, darling. Time to sashay into your destiny and show the universe who's boss!
virgo
Alright, darlings, listen up ‘cause Mama’s about to lay down the cosmic tea for all you Virgo babes out there for the month of July 2024, okay? First thing’s first, honies, the stars are practically screaming that it’s time to strut your stuff and let that inner diva out to play. But listen up, sugar, you gotta keep that fabulous head on the swivel because some curveballs might come flying your way – and we ain't talking baseball, mmmkay? Now, don't get your lashes in a twist,‘ cause with a little sass and a lot of class, you’re gonna navigate through this hotter-than-a-tuck summer smoother than a freshly shaved leg. And remember, in the world of drag, every setback is just a setup for a comeback. So, sparkle up, spread those glittered wings, and let the world gag on your eleganza. July is your runway, baby, so sashay away!
libra
Oh, honey! July 2024 is gonna be lit for all my Libra darlings! The stars are throwing a cosmic cocktail party, and guess what, darling? You’re the sparkling guest of honor! This month, your charm is like glitter – it's stickin' everywhere and on everyone. Love is in the air, thicker than my foundation, and it's the perfect time to strut your stuff in the romance department. But hold up, boo! Balance those scales, because your career is getting as hot as a spotlight on the main stage. Opportunities are sashaying your way, so don’t be shy – show 'em what you got! Work it in every area of life like it’s the runway finale, and watch the applause come rolling in. Remember, keep those heels, standards, and that fabulous chin up. July is your moment to shine, so sparkle on, you gorgeous thing! Mwah!
scorpio
Honey, listen up, 'cause I'm about to spill the celestial tea for all you fierce Scorpios out there. July 2024 is gonna be a month where you need to snap those fans, twirl in your best heels, and strut into the spotlight of your own life. The stars are aligning to push you center stage, darling. It's time to let go of that old, crusty shell and let the world see the shimmering, fabulous phoenix you are meant to be! So, throw on your glitter, pump up the volume, and sashay away into your destiny. You've got this, and remember, the universe is your runway!
sagittarius
Honey, listen up because I'm about to spill the celestial tea for all you fiery Sagittarius babes out there! July is your month to shine brighter than a disco ball, darling. The stars are aligning to serve some serious cosmic realness, so strut your stuff with confidence. Get ready to sashay away from the drama and twirl into opportunities that are as glamorous and fabulous as you are. Remember, you're the star of your own show, so keep those heels high and that wig snatched! Let's turn this month into a runway and serve up some fierce Sagittarian realness. Werk it, because nobody does it better!
capricorn
Darlings, Capricorn babes, listen up, 'cause July is YOUR month, honey! The stars are aligning to serve you some serious cosmic realness. It’s like the universe is your stage, and you’re the main act, so strut your stuff and shine bright. Let’s talk love – it’s in the air, sweeties, so flutter those lashes and be open to romance. But don't forget, balance is key. Work that hustle, but don't let it wear you down. Remember, you're a star, so keep it sassy, keep it classy, and most importantly, keep it fabulous! Mwah!
aquarius
Oh, honey! July is gonna be your month, Aquarius, darling! Get ready to strut your fierce self because the stars are aligning to serve you major life realness. It's all about embracing your uniqueness and letting that fabulous light of yours shine bright. You've got some groundbreaking ideas itching to break free from that brilliant mind, so don't hold back, honey. Serve them the full fantasy! Surround yourself with your fabulous squad, because, darling, they'll be your cheerleaders pushing you to slay all day. Remember, you're a star, baby, so keep it shining!
pisces
Darlings, let me spill the celestial tea for all my fabulous Pisces fishes out there! The stars are aligning just for you, honey, in July 2024! You're swimming into a month full of glittering possibilities. The universe is throwing you a cosmic party, and guess what? You're the glittering guest of honor! So, pucker up, strap on those stilettos, and sashay into your destiny. Opportunities are knocking, so fluff that wig, bat those lashes, and work it, because this month is all about showcasing your fabulous self. Let's turn this fish tank into a runway!
aries
Hey, dolls! Get ready 'cause August is YOUR month, Aries, hunty! The stars are aligning, bringing a cosmic glow-up unlike anything before. It's time to let your hair down, throw on those heels, and strut into your destiny! Whether it's career highs or love life fireworks, you're about to serve realness in every area of your life. So, snap those fingers, pop that collar, and remember, darling, you're not just participating in this month - you're owning it. Shine on, my fabulous Aries queens and kings! Cha-cha-chow!
taurus
Alright, honeys and darlings, let's spill the celestial tea for all my Taurus beauties out there! August 2024 is gonna be fiercer than a death drop on the main stage, okay? The universe is serving realness, promising a month filled with opulence, darling. You're gonna shine brighter than my highlight at midnight, trust and believe. Your charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent will be on full display, making every room you strut into gag with admiration. Work that confidence, and remember, always keep them guessing. Now, go on and show the universe who's the real queen!💅👑✨
gemini
Honey, let me spill the celestial T for my gorgeous Geminis this August 2024! Darling, the stars are practically doing choreography just for you. Mercury is sashaying into your house of creativity, meaning it's time to let that inner diva out! Think sequins, think glitter, think all that dazzles. But, sugar, don’t let Mars in retrograde catch you in its shady vibe, okay? Keep those heels high and that chin up. Love is swirling around you like a fabulous feather boa, so if you're single, get ready to mingle, and if you're tied down, it's time to jazz up the romance. Remember, you're the star of this show, so strut into August like the runway is yours, because, babe, it is!
cancer
Oh, darling! Let me spill the celestial tea for you. August 2024 is practically bursting at the seams with cosmic energy for all you fabulous Cancer crabs out there! The stars are strutting down the universe's runway just for you, honey. This is your moment to sparkle brighter than ever! Whether you're twirling through your personal or professional life, the cosmic vibe is totally in your favor. Embrace your inner diva, throw on those glitter heels, and sashay away into your most glamorous month yet! Remember, in the galaxy of life, you're the star - so shine on, baby! 💫👑
leo
Honey, let's spill the celestial tea for my Leos in August 2024, shall we? You fierce lions are about to strut into a month that's dripping in drama and dazzle, and I'm here for it. The stars are aligning to spotlight your fabulous self, guiding you to snatch every opportunity to shine brighter than a disco ball. It's your moment to sashay away from the shadows and serve some serious Leo extravaganza. So, throw on that glitter, pump up the volume, and let the world hear you roar, 'cause darling, this month, you're not just a star, you're the whole constellation. Werk!
virgo
Alright, hunty, get ready because the cosmos is serving some real tea for Virgos this August 2024. The stars are aligning and they're all about that glow up, baby. You're gonna find yourself in the spotlight - life's runway is yours, and it's time to strut your stuff! Your charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent? They're off the charts, darling. But, remember, don't let the haters get you down. Spread those wings and sashay away from the negativity. Embrace your inner diva, 'cause this month, you're not just a star, you're the constellation, honey!
libra
Alright, hunty, let's spill the cosmic tea for all you fabulous Libra queens out there! Honey, August 2024 is gonna be your month to slay, okay? You're about to dip, twirl, and vogue through every moment with grace, balance, and a little bit of that signature Libra charm. Now listen, love, the stars are practically throwing glitter your way, pushing you to spotlight those dreams. But remember, darling, to keep those scales balanced – indulge, but don't let the champagne bubbles go to your head. And relationships? Child, communication is key. Talk it out with your loved ones and keep those connections tighter than your tuck. Embrace your fabulous self, strut into every challenge with stilettos on, and remember: you're serving cosmic fierceness this August. Werk it, Libra, because you've totally got this!
scorpio
Alright, honey, let's get into the celestial tea for all my Scorpio divas out there. August 2024 is going to be a fierce month for you, dahling. The stars are aligning to make you the center of the universe, and trust me, you're going to shine brighter than a disco ball at Studio 54. It's all about embracing your fabulous inner power, strutting your stuff with confidence, and being unapologetically you. So, put on your highest heels, fluff up that wig, and sashay away into the spotlight. Remember, Scorpios, you're a star, and it's your time to dazzle the world. Let's make this month a sequin-filled adventure of glamour and success. Get ready to werk it, because the universe is your runway, hunty!
sagittarius
Oh, honey, let me tell you, August 2024 is going to be a fierce month for all my Sagittarius darlings! The stars are lining up to spill the tea, and it's all about you, babe! You're going to strut into the spotlight, serving looks, confidence, and charisma. It's your time to shine, sparkle, and slay. Relationships? Oh, they're getting steamy, sweetie. Career? You better werk because opportunities are voguing your way. But remember, darling, stay true to you. Throw on your highest heels, fluff up that wig, because this month, you're not just walking, you're sashaying down the runway of life. Mwah!
capricorn
Darlings, if you are all cozied up in your Capricorn couture, then get ready for some sizzling tea about your future, hunty! August 2024 is gonna be a ride, hunny, so fasten those sequined belts! The stars are lining up to serve you a platter of transformative experiences that will have you gagging. It's time to werq on your personal beliefs and philosophies! You might find yourself embarking on a glittering journey of self-discovery, or diving deep into the library of your soul, learning and growing. So, pull up your fishnets, powder that nose, and get ready to strut into this month with all the confidence of a queen owning the runway at RuPaul's Drag Race, because, honey, the universe is about to give you the chance to shine brighter than a disco ball at a drag brunch. Embrace it, embrace you, and remember, no tea, no shade, just facts - you are fabulous, darling! So sashay away into the month, ready to face whatever the stars throw your way. You got this, queen!
aquarius
Honey, listen up, 'cause the stars are spillin' the tea for all you fabulous Aquarius divas out there! August is gonna be your month, darling. You're about to strut into a cosmic runway where your uniqueness, nerve, and talent shine brighter than a disco ball. It's time to snap those fans, toss that hair, and show the universe who's boss. Expect gag-worthy opportunities to sashay your way, so pucker up, put those heels on, and remember, you're not just serving looks, you're serving destiny. Now, let's work it out and make the stars gag, honey!
pisces
Honey, let me spill the cosmic tea for you, cause August 2024 is going to be a dazzling month for all you fab Pisces fish out there. The stars are lining up to serve you some realness, giving you all the sparkle and glow-up you need. Now, you better werk, cause opportunities are sashaying your way, and it’s your time to shine, darling. Remember, keep it fierce, stay fabulous, and always strut your stuff with confidence. The universe is your runway, so show ‘em how it’s done, boo!
